


Glowing True

by Fericita



Series: Dangerous Secrets 'Verse [7]
Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-24 08:13:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30069276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fericita/pseuds/Fericita
Summary: An alternate chapter 26 for Dangerous Secrets, written for the “Write Your Own Style” Agduna Discord Server contest. Thanks as always to @the-spaztic-fantastic for beta-ing and helping me on the most devastating lines.  Angst ahead; you’ve been warned.
Relationships: Agnarr & Iduna (Disney), Agnarr/Iduna (Disney)
Series: Dangerous Secrets 'Verse [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2033725
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	Glowing True

“Iduna,” he said, reaching for my hands.

I longed for his touch but I crossed my arms instead, bunching the tea towel in one fist and squeezing hard, remembering how he had called me stubborn the last time we spoke. Still, it was a relief to see him, to know that despite the gates being closed, and the looming threat of violence against the crown, that he was safe. That he still had some measure of freedom, though he had tried to take mine away.

It made me mad all over again to think of it. “Are you here to order me somewhere?”

He grimaced and stayed on the doorstep, not making a move to come in. I could see two soldiers a few paces back, one keeping watch out towards the street and one looking at us as we spoke. “I’m sorry, Iduna. I was wrong to do that. And I am here to invite you somewhere, though you are free to say no.”

“I’m listening,” I said, uncrossing my arms but still not inviting him in.

“Mr. Sorensen is at the castle with the council members. They’ve devised a plan to question every citizen about these attacks so we can figure out how to keep everyone safe.”

“They’ve devised it? What about you?”

“I don’t need a test to tell me the Northuldra are blameless in this. We’ve seen how impenetrable the mist remains. And I don’t like the idea of questioning citizens. But these are dark times and I’ve agreed to back their plan. And I’d like you to back it too.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Come to the castle. Allow Mr. Sorensen to question you with this new system. Everyone in town knows you and loves you. If they see you volunteering for this, it might help them agree to do so willingly. It might take some of their fear away.”

“That’s not exactly volunteering,” I said. Lord Peterssen had warned me against this, but I considered. If this was the quickest way to find the culprits, would it be the quickest way to clear the Northuldra from blame? With the true perpetrators unmasked, might I be able to reveal my origins to Agnarr at last? “Did Lord Peterssen tell you to get me? That I should take this test?”

“No, he hasn’t arrived at the meeting yet. I thought he might be here actually. But I’m glad I could talk to you alone.” Agnarr looked so penitent. So hopeful. So kingly.

If I had managed to hide in plain sight for so long, surely I could lie my way through questioning. Even questions designed to catch lies.

“I’ll go,” I said.

Agnarr smiled and I hoped it was the right choice.

***************************

“Tell us your name.”

“Iduna.”

Mr. Sorensen nodded encouragingly, and then pointed to the crystal that glowed red from its short chain around my neck, drawing the attention of the other assembled council members. “See how it glows? That means the answer she gave is true. It will also glow if the wearer knows the answer is ‘yes’ to a question that I ask. Thank you, Iduna. Let’s continue.”

The polished mahogany of the table was so bright it seemed to be its own source of light. But it was easier to look at than the faces around the table. Lord Peterssen’s face was impassive, but I knew he was thinking this was folly. He had flashed a look of shock and then fear when I had arrived and I was certain he would have words with Agnarr later. And me.

“Tell us about your parents, Iduna.”

“They died. In the forest.” I didn’t look down to see if the crystal glowed, but at the sight of Sorensen nodding, I assumed my half-truth worked.

“Do you blame the Northuldra for their deaths?”

“No. I don’t know who killed them. I didn’t see them die.” Some of the councillors moved in their seats or furrowed their brows at this question, but I kept my body as still as possible, trying not to choke on the word “die.” Hoping the crystal couldn’t discern the crowded thoughts in my head.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to ask what risk they thought a peaceful people who had left Arendelle alone for years could pose. I wanted to say that the Northuldra were blamed for every inconvenience, large and small, and that they could hardly be dyeing sheep purple and assaulting people in the street while trapped behind the mist. But it seemed my pared-down answer worked. The crystal glowed red, Sorensen nodded, and the questions continued.

“What do you know about the men with sun masks?”

“Nothing.”

“Do you know any group that uses the sun as its symbol?”

“Corona.”

“The Northuldra too, yes?” Sorensen seemed thrilled that the crystal was doing what he hoped. He rubbed his hands together and then took notes as he continued with his questions. 

“Yes, though it seems monumentally stupid that those who bother wearing masks to hide their identity would use a symbol of their nation in the design of their mask.” I winced as I caught the surprised look of the council members, but Sorensen laughed. So much for only giving short, succinct answers.

“Yes, I believe that as well,” he said, still chuckling.

I hazarded a look at Peterssen but he remained expressionless. Conceal don’t feel, indeed. I wondered if he was so good at it that he could prevent a truth-telling crystal from revealing his feelings.

“Do you often travel alone?

“Yes. I meet with farmers to help them with their windmills.”

“Have you ever seen anything suspicious?”

“No.”

“Do you swear allegiance to Arendelle?”

I took a breath, very aware of the crystal, cold against my chest. I thought of my home. My first home. My mother wrapping me in her shawl and Yelana pledging to keep me safe.

But Agnarr was Arendelle. And I loved him.

“Yes, I do.” I looked down, relieved to see the crystal glowing red. 

“Is there anything else you’d like to tell us, Iduna? Anything you think we need to know?”

“No.”

“Is there anything you think the crown prince needs to know?”

My cheeks heated at this, as red as the crystal that was surely about to glow. Agnarr needed to know so much. That I loved him. That I was Northuldra. That I would never cause him harm, and that’s why I had to lie now.

This group of assembled council members was looking at me sympathetically right now, but they were also a reminder of how hated the Northuldra remained. A reminder of how little a chance I had of existing in Agnarr's castle as anyone other than a friend, than a citizen being brought in for questions.

I looked at Agnarr and then down at the crystal, glowing brightly red. More red than it had for any of my other answers.

“Please excuse me,” I said, rising quickly from the chair. Every council member stood up, the sound of several chairs scraping against the hardwood floors deafening as they all rushed to show how courteous they were.

I ran to the door and down the hall, hearing Agnarr behind me, calling my name, but I didn’t turn to look. Even if I escaped his sight, he would know where to find me. Our special place. Our secret room.

The library was dark and Agnarr shut the door behind us quietly, not even a muffled sound escaped from tumblers latching into place.

“I’m sorry,” I said, my hand flying to where the crystal lay just above the neckline of the bodice. “I forgot I was wearing it.” It wasn’t true and the crystal was dull now, accusing me of the lie. I tried to unfasten it but couldn’t with my shaking hands so instead I clasped them together, trying not to wring them with worry. What must Agnarr think of me after that interview?

“What is it, Iduna? What was it you couldn’t say?” His voice was gentle and kind, soft and soothing. I tried to imagine how he might shout if I told him the truth of who I was but just as quickly realized the futility. He would never react in anger. He would understand, and that would be worse. It would put him in danger. I would put him in danger.

“I want you to leave,” I said. “I don’t love you . . . I can’t love you.” I didn’t look down at the crystal, willing his eyes to stay on mine so he wouldn’t look either. Wouldn’t see how dull it remained. 

The complete lack of the crystal’s glow proving that I was a liar. 

But then I thought of what was true. A truth that crushed me in its cruelty, that would crush him too. “You are a prince. And I am not a princess. We cannot be together. ”

There was a long moment of silence and then Agnarr reached out and touched the crystal. “You really believe that,” he said, his voice a whisper. I saw the red glow reflecting on his fingers as they ran across the surface of the crystal. This close, I could see a small fleck of soap lather left on his collar from shaving, could feel the heat of him and remember what it felt like to be even closer as we so often had been in this very room.

He reached behind my neck and unfastened the clasp and then put it around his own neck, pulling at the collar of his shirt so the crystal lay against his skin. “Well, I don’t. Look, Iduna.” His voice was strong now as he cradled my cheek with his hand and used the other to pull me close. He was so tall now that my eyes were directly across from the crystal as it lay against his collarbone. “I love you. I will find a way for us to be together.”

It glowed so red against his skin it looked like it was vibrating and I had the sudden horrible thought it would explode, shattering into shards and cutting us both. Wounds we would never heal from.

“Come live at the castle. Please. If you won’t let me love you, at least let me protect you.”

The crystal glowed red against him still. Glowing true. 

“Alright,” I said, wishing it wasn’t the only yes I could give him. I would give him all of me, all of my future. But to do so would ruin his. Would ruin Arendelle’s. 

So instead, I did the only other thing my heart and my body were longing to do. I reached up to his cheek to feel the smoothness of his clean-shaven jaw, I rubbed at the spot of soap on his collar. And I raised myself up on tiptoe and pulled him down by that collar to press my lips on his, to drink in all of him that I could. His hands went around my waist and he pulled me closer, and then his thumbs were on my cheeks, gently smoothing away the few tears that had fallen. And as we kissed, I pretended.

Pretended to not have a thread around my heart that tightened when I thought about my mother. Pretended that every mention of “the evil Northuldra” didn’t send a stab of panic straight down my spine. Pretended that I could be Agnarr’s, and that he could be mine. 

We kissed in the hidden room, and I wished it was the only secret in this castle that could never truly be my home.


End file.
